I have not had a whole lot of experience with being a jealous person, I don’t know why.
maybe I’m always keeping myself so busy I might not have time to think about it, or it could be that the people I’m sourounded with have nothing in my opinion to be jealous of.
I wish I could say that the same holds true for the company I keep, but unfortunatly that is not the case.
I never meant to be what they see as being holier then thou, I assure you if I am in anyway close to perfection it was not by my choice but because of those who pushed me to my outer limits, and I assure you it was never meant for my own good that they did so.
Let me see where do I start:
I am not a gourmet chef that’s for sure, but because I’ve been picked on most my life by my parents for not being a domestic I learned to cook better than my mother because I bought a bunch of recipe books and got all creative with it, even taking her recipes and adding a little bit of spice to the concoction.
I soon began to be able to take care of a family and a household in my early teens and all with a smile on my face thinking that this is what was expected of me and completely normal for my age. huh little did I know no one was doing what I was doing at my age, I was also raising my little brother too’ . I think all the orders and demands on me were meant to break me somehow, but I had not known it at the time, but anyway in the end the better I got at these small things the more my mother became jealous. Some of the other little girls my age who found their parents comparing notes and using me as an example of how to be. Bummer not a friend in the world as a result.
Now that I don’t really consider myself responsible for either because it’s not me that made them, anyway my mother has some good genes from her mom, but unfortunatly she didin’t get them, and really to top it all off I don’t really come from such a culture that produces the prettiest people like the ones from Denmark and Iceland and places like that. So my point is that if your decent looking around people who are less so in one way or another this is an issue, most of the women I knew would become jealous of the male attension I would get including mother of course,but my therapist told me that this it’s very common for moms to be that jealose of their daughters. How sad.
Then I had my son who was born an ace in school, you could tell he was smart and had a lot going for him way before he got himself into UC Berkeley, he was the only one in the family who ever got into collage and this aroused a lot of jealousy too. Uh what can anyone ever do about these things?, I think nothing, and I also think that when people are jealous it can be dangerous and they will attack. Anyway I don’t think of the first to realize this I just saw a movie the other night could voices or something, it was a chinese film in subtitles basically saying that wihout realizing it we kill the ones we are jealous of. How sad we attack rather than become inspired.